I haven’t blogged since August 2020, over a year ago.
A decade ago, I used to blog every single day.
It seemed unhealthy at the time but I think it helped me cope. Like someone listening even though who knows if they were ever read by anyone apart from myself and my boyfriend at the time.
I’m not sure how life will look in terms of my mental health in terms of my eating disorder in terms of my ability to cope. I am never sure of these things. I never doubt that I will be okay in the future though. I always see myself succeeding, whatever that picture may look like. What I have trouble is is the now. The presence, the current pain, the fights, the struggle. And I think that not only makes me human but it means my depression and anxiety and inability to cope definitely circumstantial and not at all inherent or chemical or some innate broken thing in me that cannot be fixed.
